# 9

Loved ones not inclined to attribute deaths to adult choices made by self-administering substance abusers.  Everyone's looking for something else to blame.

Two middle-aged neighbors once introduced themselves to me and, without introducing their 20-something son, they told me he was living with them as he had been dishonorably discharged from the Navy.

About two weeks later at 0100 or 0200AM, I had a face-to-face encounter with a young man walking on my deck outside the rear door of our home.  I asked the man to leave my property.  The man stated that he was looking for his cat.  I told him that he needed to get off my property or I would call the police.  Then he stated that he was my neighbor though we were never introduced.

A few days later, during afternoon hours, I approached the parents to explain the late night encounter with their son.  After hearing my description of the encounter, the mother commenced to provide an oblique defense for what happened that night.

She said, "You have to understand that cat; it doesn't listen to him and it just does what it wants...."

I interrupted her, saying, "Lady, you are describing the behavior of a cat while I am describing the behavior of an adult human."  At that point, the husband spoke up and reported that he understood and his son would not be trespassing again.

Friends and family members of adult substance abusers may want to examine the above event and determine whether they ever find themselves deflecting responsibility away from the adult substance abuser's choices and attributing events to the "cat" or the substance.